LAS FALLAS
VALENCIA
When? March 15-19.
Why? Processions, paella and papier-mâché: the ingredients may sound unpromising, but make no mistake, Las Fallas is the biggest, baddest street party in all Europe.
The madness begins on March 15, when hundreds of grotesque monsters march on the city — house-high effigies of politicians, celebrities and others deserving of public ridicule. The next five days are lived outdoors and without sleep, in a whirl of bullfights and barbecues, flower parades and firework contests on Plaza del Ayuntamiento.



Then, at midnight on March 19, the climax: the papier-mâché celebs are torched in a city-wide bonfire of the vanities. Now that’s what you call satire.
How? For details, call 00 34 96 360 6353 or visit www.fallas.com. Fly to Valencia with EasyJet (www.easyjet.com) or Ryanair (www.ryanair.com).

In a survey of drivers' knowledge carried out in 12 European countries, Spanish drivers came in next to last, only Slovenians being shakier. But if you are a UK driver you have no reason for smugness: British drivers came in tenth (considering the awful reputation of Portuguese roads, Portuguese drivers emerged in a remarkably good light, in third place after the Germans). And the EuroTest consortium's website does not even spare the top-scoring Austrians from criticism: it concludes that "We all think we are better drivers than we actually are."
Nearly 2,800 drivers were tested in spot checks carried out at shopping centres, petrol stations and other everyday locations. The 15 theory questions covered matters from general driving behaviour to traffic regulations, environment, technology and equipment, while the practical test included drivers being asked to locate the switch for hazard lights, to find the emergency triangle and information about correct tyre pressures. The final part of the test was a self-assessment.


Results were not reassuring, from the best, the Austrians (64.4% correct answers), to the worst, the Slovenians (43.4%). Less encouraging still is the lack of objectivity shown, as fewer than 6% of drivers surveyed had a critical opinion of their own motoring abilities, even though under 10% knew exactly what to do in the event of a motorway breakdown, only 14% knew how and when to test their brakes, and nearly three quarters of drivers were unable to answer the question "When is overtaking totally forbidden?" correctly. With this in mind, I do not find the fact that over 40% of the interviewees gave a correct answer to the question "What should you do if you notice that your car is aquaplaning?" reassuring. Instead, it suggests to me that far too many European drivers are practising skid turns on a daily basis.

The EuroTest was carried out by member organizations of the FIA, the Federation Internationale de l'Automobile, including the British AA and the Spanish RACE (and their report carries one glaring, repeated error: "brake" is frequently misspelled "break").

Not the fruit, but the Barcelona-based Mango chain of fashion stores, which a Times article by Anne Ashworth looks at with a wry eye on the price difference between England and Spain. Mango specializes in affordable chic, but that is even more true if you go to the source: "A Chloé-inspired khaki jacket with a ruffled collar from the new spring collection would set you back €69.90 (£48) in Marbella, but £69 in Regent Street," says Ashworth, without explaining why she chose Marbella instead of Barcelona, or who Chloé is, come to that (I suppose that means that if you don't know, you're a weak link in fashion terms - dang!)..



The other Spanish high-street name to look out for if you are on the hunt for well-priced stylishness is Zara, a Galician firm which has been around for considerably longer than Mango's thirteen or fourteen years as an international company. You will have gathered that I am not an expert, and both chains have a similar approach, but Zara seems to be the classier of the two, while Mango aims at a younger segment.

Spain begins 2006 with the coming into force of the Spanish version of European Union legislation against smoking. The most immediate effect is that smoking is completely prohibited in centros de trabajo, workplaces, but within a few months the ban will be extended to bars and restaurants. Small catering establishments (less than 100 square metres) are already obliged to signal their stance - smoking or non-smoking - while larger bars and restaurants will be compelled to either provide properly closed off and independently ventilated areas for smokers or be classified as non-smoking areas.
Predictably, Spanish smokers are less than happy, though so far there have been few incidents. Bar and restaurant owners and managers are even more nervous, especially as the period allowed to adapt to the legislation is minimal - eight months - and the law was only passed in the middle of December. Many question the dispensation given to Formula 1 and other motoring tobacco sponsors, who have been granted the much more generous period of grace of three years.



The fines allowed for range from a trivial 30 euros for a first-time smoker lighting up in a prohibited area to a whopping 10,000 euros for re-offending management.