We won!
Yeah!!!! Mar Adentro beat the French and the German in the Oscars! And I was there with Amenabar to party....
They had an airport-like scenery in the backstage ;)
They had an airport-like scenery in the backstage ;)
El Carnaval de Colonia
===La Partença===
L’aventurilla comença a Munic. La missio es simple: anar a veure els carnavals de Colonia i Dusseldorf durant un fi de setmana de Febrer . Els membres de l’equip son la Marta, el Bernat, l’Otto i el Siol de Barcelona, i el Gustav de Stockhom.
Afortunadament vem superar els problemes logistics i despres de que el Siol es muntes un kakao amb el lloguer del cotxe via Internet, el Gustav va donar el do de petcho i va pagar amb la seva visa.540€. Ole!
Teniem el rendez-vous de partida a les 3.30pm a casa seva i evidentment ens vem retrassar mes duna hora. Quan (per fi!!) vem arribarhi, el Gustav ens esperava al costat del SUV llogat, i el seu peuet devia fer temps ke donava saltirons. Despres de les disculpes i tal vem enfilar les carretres Alemanes.
El Gustav va ser el primer a conduir i el dos terços del viatge van transcurrir sense incidents.
A la tercera vegada que varem parar per reposar, a uns 40km de Colonia, l’Otto va rebre un SMS: Ey, Otto, nem a fer un café? Era el Saka que li escrivia desde Barcelona. Es pensava que l'Otto estava al carrer Paris.
Va ser llavors quan el Siol va agafar el volant per primer cop. I ultim. Tan sols sortir de l’area de servei de l’autopista, no se com s’ho va fer, un camio de 20 metros va passar arran de porta. Amb la inercia que portava va fer sotregar el nostre cotxe com si fos un balanci i al Bernat que anava de copilot se li van posar els cu** per corbata: “Hey tio, controla el tema eh?" Va dir amb una veu excitada mentre’s intentava recobrar el sentit de l’orientació. Ara era fosc i no es veia res. Mentrestant, als seients de darrera, el Gustav tambe recobrava la compostura intentant assimilant el que acababa de pasar mentre’s l’Otto afegia en veu alta: "no se que ha fotut, pero ens acabem de currar 30 metros conduint per la calçada!"
-Nois, ho tinc tot controlat! va dir el Siol. Els anims es van caldejar una mica, i a la primera aturada que vem efectuar, el Gustav, sigilosament va recobrar el volant. Pero el bon rollo va continuar predominant.
===Lio a Colonia===
Cap al capvespre, arribarem a Colonia i la primera pregunta que va apareixer va ser: on es l’alberg? I mes concretament: com s’hi arriba? Preguntes ben simples que en aquell moment van plantejar algunes discussions contradictories. Pero cap problema. El Bernat s’havia el cami. De dia.
Aixi doncs, tal com mana, vem perdre una hora per trobar l’alberg de juventud. A pesar del complex entramat urba de Colonia, amb vies de tren indiscriminades, i estacions de servei sempre en el sentit contrari, vem trobar el cami relativament rapid. Pero la maniobra d’aproximacio s’en va anar a norris aviat. El desvio per entrar a l’alberg estaba mal indicat i cada cop que ens el vem passar vem perdre 15 minuts trobant el cami de tornada. El Gustav va resultar contumas i amb la particular abilitat de repetir l’error 4 vegades.
Despres del check-in, vem anar a dormir. Pero no fins que abans l’Otto ens llegis tot el capitol integre d'un llibre titolat: “Com aprendre Aleman en 1 mes”.
===The Unexpected===
Al mati seguent, ens vem atipar amb un BON esmorzar: yogurt, pastes, kellogs, sucs de fruita, pernil dolç, croissants, café, llet, tot ben mesclat i cap avall. Si senyor!
Llavors, vem anar a passejar pels carrers de Colonia. Com si res... Portavem unes quantes desfilades vistes quan vem decidir entrar a una llibreria. Els llibres en Aleman estaben interessants, i els que tenien imatges eren els millors –eren els unics on podies entendre algo. Pero no vem trobar cap llibre espectacular, cap descobriment editorial. La sorpesa va venir quan l’Otto ens va dir: oi que estic blanc? Tots ens el vem mirar. Bueno, tots no. El Gustav va continuar mirant llibres per lo del Catala, pero vaya…Pero en general ens el vem quedar mirant.
-Si noi, diria que una mica – va dirli la Marta.
Jo mes aviat el veia groguet.
-Estas be? Li va dir el Bernat mentres la Marta, ara si, atreia l’atencio del Gustav.
-Si, no se, em trobo una mica marejat, va contestar l’Otto. Potser una mica d’aire fresc m’anira be.
Vem sortir de la llibreria, i quan ja estavem al carrer, el countdown va començar:
-Siol, ajudam a trobar un lavabo…
Grosse Scheisse! Vaig pensar…aixo ha sonat a ultimatum…Rapid rapid!! Vem accelerar el pas mentres ens distanciavem dels altres. Un water, un water! Pero on?
-Entra en un restaurant, li vaig suggerir.
Massa tard. Les contraccions van començar. Oi, oi oi…. Vem poder arribar a la cantonada de turno amb prou feines i alla, al costat d’un anunci de l’Oreal “Porque yo me lo merezco” el Otto va obrir comportes. L’esmorzar va quedar empastifat pel terra. “Aki ens currem un bon multaso” vaig pensar. Mentre’s l’Otto rematava el renard amb trossos de pera i platan, jo intentava dissimular amb la cara de “No, no, no esta borracho, es que l’esmorzar li ha sentat malament”. Contra totes les espectatives, ningu va semblar amoinarse.Caragols ! Que son discrets els Alemans, no ho hauria dit mai! vaig pensar. Pero despres de rumiar-hi una mica: va ser realment discrecio o vem trobar el camuflatge perfecte? Hi havia tanta gentada pels carrers i tants borratxos, que al cap de pocs minuts un individu a la cantonada de davant va reproduir la escena amb macarrons i una salsa blanca semblant a la maionesa. Es clar! Estem a carnaval! Cap problema! Pero ell, a diferencia de l’Otto si que estava borratjo, es igual: l’ordre dels factors no altera el producte.
===El Merder===
Marta, jo em quedo! va dir el Siol per telefon.
-Que que??? Respon ella.
-Mira, crec que es lo millor per tots. Al separarnos, haviem quedat de trobarnos a les 6 a l’Alberg, pero com que us heu aborrit, heu tornat abans, i ara voleu marxar a correcuita cap a Dusseldorf. Mira, jo vull veure una amiga que esta aquí i fa temps que no he vist, o sigui que agafeu els patracols i al diumenge em passeu a buscar…Colonia ve de pas venint de Dusseldorff, o sigui que al venir podem retrobarnos i tornar junts…
Pel background del movil sento la veu de l’Otto dir:
-Quin merder! Quin merdeeeee!
Llavors la Marta penja. Al cap de deu minuts el movil del Siol resona. Aquest cop es el Bernat:
-Mira David, que vol dir aixo de que no vens? Escolta’m, aquí, per “unanimitat” em decidit seguir “el pla-A”. O sigui que nosaltres fotem el cap i si no vols venir no et passarem a buscar el diumenge.
La situacio era comica, perque aquesta ultima decisio no estava en mans del Bernat, ja que el Bernat tenia previst anar a Amsterdam desde Dusseldorf. Aixi doncs a la tornada ell no hi seria al cotxe per decidir parar o no a Colonia. Es mes, el “pla-A” era tot menys unanim, ja que a posteriori, fonts secretes em va confirmar que no havia consultat a ningu.
Al final va resultar que la meva amiga tenia de visita els seus pares….Cagada per dormir a casa seva. Merda! Quina mala sort!
Aixi doncs, vaig poder trobar una altre amiga Alemana que havia conegut a Burdeos i em va acompanyar al punt de trobada amb el seu novio.
Despres de despedir-nos, vaig entrar al SUV on tots m’esperaven. El rellotge del cotxe marcava les 6 en punt. L'ambient era funebre. Solemne. Uns ocells van sobrevolarnos. I un va piular.
Quan vaig entrar tots estaven callats, i li vaig dir al Gustav: arrenques? Pero hi havia un “cuervo” moralista planejant pel tetxo. Estava clar que s’havia d’aclarar la situacio…La Marta va destapar el champagne:
-David, no trobes que hem de parlar? Brrooummm, broouum, broouumm!!! Els timbals de guerra fan el "crescendo" i les senyals de fum es divisen a l'horitzo.
La discussio va començar en Alemany. Primer perque estavem a Alemanya, clar. Segon, per respecte al Gustav, clar. Tercer perque el Bernat i la Marta no tenien ni papa d’Angles. Quart: l'Aleman era el comu denominador i l’Otto, encara amb sequeles del “l’Oreal porque tu lo vales” no estaba per “regorgitar” paraules. I per ultim perque estaba guapo parlar en Alemany. Pero a mesura que la discussio avançava no acabavem de trobar les paraulotes adecuades per llençarnos als uns i als altres i la conversa progressivament requeria nous nivells de complexitat dialectica: “tu m’has dit que jo li digues que ell no podia…”. Progressivament ens vem anar quedant sense municions llinguistiques. En aquest punt vaig agafar la delantera: a prendre pel sac el Alemany i continuo amb Catala. I…ffiiuuuuu!!! Spashh! Full throttle! A partir d’aqui vaig començar a guanyar terreny i el seu Aleman no podia donar a l’abast amb el meu turn-over llinguistic. Pero llavors, ells tambe van canviar al Catala i va ser quan el Gustav va fer metamorfosis a bolet. La discussio es va transformar en un acalorat battlefield. Al final, com es d’esperar, no vem arribar a cap acord en concret i vem fer cap a Dusseldorf.
El Gustav conduia, i aquest cop la va liar al aparcament del nou alberg. I les consequencies del “amunt i avall, "espera em sembla haver vist un buit", gira, regira, i maniobra adreta i esquerra” van anar a petar a l’Otto…
-Gustav para! Li va dir. No va haverhi resposta. Gustav, halt!!!!!! Ara si. L’Otto va baixar del cotxe i jo a darrera seu. Aquest cop un abre va aguantar la “ruxada”.
El Gustav va continuar buscant lloc…
Proxim Episodi: ===De Retorn a Munich===
P.S: has dit "ho" o "apa!" amb la falta del "s'havia"?
L’aventurilla comença a Munic. La missio es simple: anar a veure els carnavals de Colonia i Dusseldorf durant un fi de setmana de Febrer . Els membres de l’equip son la Marta, el Bernat, l’Otto i el Siol de Barcelona, i el Gustav de Stockhom.
Afortunadament vem superar els problemes logistics i despres de que el Siol es muntes un kakao amb el lloguer del cotxe via Internet, el Gustav va donar el do de petcho i va pagar amb la seva visa.540€. Ole!
Teniem el rendez-vous de partida a les 3.30pm a casa seva i evidentment ens vem retrassar mes duna hora. Quan (per fi!!) vem arribarhi, el Gustav ens esperava al costat del SUV llogat, i el seu peuet devia fer temps ke donava saltirons. Despres de les disculpes i tal vem enfilar les carretres Alemanes.
El Gustav va ser el primer a conduir i el dos terços del viatge van transcurrir sense incidents.
A la tercera vegada que varem parar per reposar, a uns 40km de Colonia, l’Otto va rebre un SMS: Ey, Otto, nem a fer un café? Era el Saka que li escrivia desde Barcelona. Es pensava que l'Otto estava al carrer Paris.
Va ser llavors quan el Siol va agafar el volant per primer cop. I ultim. Tan sols sortir de l’area de servei de l’autopista, no se com s’ho va fer, un camio de 20 metros va passar arran de porta. Amb la inercia que portava va fer sotregar el nostre cotxe com si fos un balanci i al Bernat que anava de copilot se li van posar els cu** per corbata: “Hey tio, controla el tema eh?" Va dir amb una veu excitada mentre’s intentava recobrar el sentit de l’orientació. Ara era fosc i no es veia res. Mentrestant, als seients de darrera, el Gustav tambe recobrava la compostura intentant assimilant el que acababa de pasar mentre’s l’Otto afegia en veu alta: "no se que ha fotut, pero ens acabem de currar 30 metros conduint per la calçada!"
-Nois, ho tinc tot controlat! va dir el Siol. Els anims es van caldejar una mica, i a la primera aturada que vem efectuar, el Gustav, sigilosament va recobrar el volant. Pero el bon rollo va continuar predominant.
===Lio a Colonia===
Cap al capvespre, arribarem a Colonia i la primera pregunta que va apareixer va ser: on es l’alberg? I mes concretament: com s’hi arriba? Preguntes ben simples que en aquell moment van plantejar algunes discussions contradictories. Pero cap problema. El Bernat s’havia el cami. De dia.
Aixi doncs, tal com mana, vem perdre una hora per trobar l’alberg de juventud. A pesar del complex entramat urba de Colonia, amb vies de tren indiscriminades, i estacions de servei sempre en el sentit contrari, vem trobar el cami relativament rapid. Pero la maniobra d’aproximacio s’en va anar a norris aviat. El desvio per entrar a l’alberg estaba mal indicat i cada cop que ens el vem passar vem perdre 15 minuts trobant el cami de tornada. El Gustav va resultar contumas i amb la particular abilitat de repetir l’error 4 vegades.
Despres del check-in, vem anar a dormir. Pero no fins que abans l’Otto ens llegis tot el capitol integre d'un llibre titolat: “Com aprendre Aleman en 1 mes”.
===The Unexpected===
Al mati seguent, ens vem atipar amb un BON esmorzar: yogurt, pastes, kellogs, sucs de fruita, pernil dolç, croissants, café, llet, tot ben mesclat i cap avall. Si senyor!
Llavors, vem anar a passejar pels carrers de Colonia. Com si res... Portavem unes quantes desfilades vistes quan vem decidir entrar a una llibreria. Els llibres en Aleman estaben interessants, i els que tenien imatges eren els millors –eren els unics on podies entendre algo. Pero no vem trobar cap llibre espectacular, cap descobriment editorial. La sorpesa va venir quan l’Otto ens va dir: oi que estic blanc? Tots ens el vem mirar. Bueno, tots no. El Gustav va continuar mirant llibres per lo del Catala, pero vaya…Pero en general ens el vem quedar mirant.
-Si noi, diria que una mica – va dirli la Marta.
Jo mes aviat el veia groguet.
-Estas be? Li va dir el Bernat mentres la Marta, ara si, atreia l’atencio del Gustav.
-Si, no se, em trobo una mica marejat, va contestar l’Otto. Potser una mica d’aire fresc m’anira be.
Vem sortir de la llibreria, i quan ja estavem al carrer, el countdown va començar:
-Siol, ajudam a trobar un lavabo…
Grosse Scheisse! Vaig pensar…aixo ha sonat a ultimatum…Rapid rapid!! Vem accelerar el pas mentres ens distanciavem dels altres. Un water, un water! Pero on?
-Entra en un restaurant, li vaig suggerir.
Massa tard. Les contraccions van començar. Oi, oi oi…. Vem poder arribar a la cantonada de turno amb prou feines i alla, al costat d’un anunci de l’Oreal “Porque yo me lo merezco” el Otto va obrir comportes. L’esmorzar va quedar empastifat pel terra. “Aki ens currem un bon multaso” vaig pensar. Mentre’s l’Otto rematava el renard amb trossos de pera i platan, jo intentava dissimular amb la cara de “No, no, no esta borracho, es que l’esmorzar li ha sentat malament”. Contra totes les espectatives, ningu va semblar amoinarse.Caragols ! Que son discrets els Alemans, no ho hauria dit mai! vaig pensar. Pero despres de rumiar-hi una mica: va ser realment discrecio o vem trobar el camuflatge perfecte? Hi havia tanta gentada pels carrers i tants borratxos, que al cap de pocs minuts un individu a la cantonada de davant va reproduir la escena amb macarrons i una salsa blanca semblant a la maionesa. Es clar! Estem a carnaval! Cap problema! Pero ell, a diferencia de l’Otto si que estava borratjo, es igual: l’ordre dels factors no altera el producte.
===El Merder===
Marta, jo em quedo! va dir el Siol per telefon.
-Que que??? Respon ella.
-Mira, crec que es lo millor per tots. Al separarnos, haviem quedat de trobarnos a les 6 a l’Alberg, pero com que us heu aborrit, heu tornat abans, i ara voleu marxar a correcuita cap a Dusseldorf. Mira, jo vull veure una amiga que esta aquí i fa temps que no he vist, o sigui que agafeu els patracols i al diumenge em passeu a buscar…Colonia ve de pas venint de Dusseldorff, o sigui que al venir podem retrobarnos i tornar junts…
Pel background del movil sento la veu de l’Otto dir:
-Quin merder! Quin merdeeeee!
Llavors la Marta penja. Al cap de deu minuts el movil del Siol resona. Aquest cop es el Bernat:
-Mira David, que vol dir aixo de que no vens? Escolta’m, aquí, per “unanimitat” em decidit seguir “el pla-A”. O sigui que nosaltres fotem el cap i si no vols venir no et passarem a buscar el diumenge.
La situacio era comica, perque aquesta ultima decisio no estava en mans del Bernat, ja que el Bernat tenia previst anar a Amsterdam desde Dusseldorf. Aixi doncs a la tornada ell no hi seria al cotxe per decidir parar o no a Colonia. Es mes, el “pla-A” era tot menys unanim, ja que a posteriori, fonts secretes em va confirmar que no havia consultat a ningu.
Al final va resultar que la meva amiga tenia de visita els seus pares….Cagada per dormir a casa seva. Merda! Quina mala sort!
Aixi doncs, vaig poder trobar una altre amiga Alemana que havia conegut a Burdeos i em va acompanyar al punt de trobada amb el seu novio.
Despres de despedir-nos, vaig entrar al SUV on tots m’esperaven. El rellotge del cotxe marcava les 6 en punt. L'ambient era funebre. Solemne. Uns ocells van sobrevolarnos. I un va piular.
Quan vaig entrar tots estaven callats, i li vaig dir al Gustav: arrenques? Pero hi havia un “cuervo” moralista planejant pel tetxo. Estava clar que s’havia d’aclarar la situacio…La Marta va destapar el champagne:
-David, no trobes que hem de parlar? Brrooummm, broouum, broouumm!!! Els timbals de guerra fan el "crescendo" i les senyals de fum es divisen a l'horitzo.
La discussio va començar en Alemany. Primer perque estavem a Alemanya, clar. Segon, per respecte al Gustav, clar. Tercer perque el Bernat i la Marta no tenien ni papa d’Angles. Quart: l'Aleman era el comu denominador i l’Otto, encara amb sequeles del “l’Oreal porque tu lo vales” no estaba per “regorgitar” paraules. I per ultim perque estaba guapo parlar en Alemany. Pero a mesura que la discussio avançava no acabavem de trobar les paraulotes adecuades per llençarnos als uns i als altres i la conversa progressivament requeria nous nivells de complexitat dialectica: “tu m’has dit que jo li digues que ell no podia…”. Progressivament ens vem anar quedant sense municions llinguistiques. En aquest punt vaig agafar la delantera: a prendre pel sac el Alemany i continuo amb Catala. I…ffiiuuuuu!!! Spashh! Full throttle! A partir d’aqui vaig començar a guanyar terreny i el seu Aleman no podia donar a l’abast amb el meu turn-over llinguistic. Pero llavors, ells tambe van canviar al Catala i va ser quan el Gustav va fer metamorfosis a bolet. La discussio es va transformar en un acalorat battlefield. Al final, com es d’esperar, no vem arribar a cap acord en concret i vem fer cap a Dusseldorf.
El Gustav conduia, i aquest cop la va liar al aparcament del nou alberg. I les consequencies del “amunt i avall, "espera em sembla haver vist un buit", gira, regira, i maniobra adreta i esquerra” van anar a petar a l’Otto…
-Gustav para! Li va dir. No va haverhi resposta. Gustav, halt!!!!!! Ara si. L’Otto va baixar del cotxe i jo a darrera seu. Aquest cop un abre va aguantar la “ruxada”.
El Gustav va continuar buscant lloc…
Proxim Episodi: ===De Retorn a Munich===
P.S: has dit "ho" o "apa!" amb la falta del "s'havia"?
The Microbiology Exam
Hi guys! You know that now I am a teacher, uh? Ok, I show you the little quiz my students had today, wanna look at it? ;)
Microscopy Quiz (10 points)
For spring break a meteorite falls in Kent and wipes out the city Town Hall. As a result of that blast, a bacterial Andromeda strain outbreak has been detected in the area and you are in charge of an elite containment unit appointed to stop it. After collecting some samples, you bring them to the Top-Secret Biosafety Level 4 laboratory placed under the autoclave in the prep room. After analyzing the infected samples, you keep your work in your laptop just before realizing the Andromeda strain has infected it! Several words of your report are left indecipherable, but you still remember everything. Please do your best filling the blanks:
In order to observe the basic morphology of the bacteria, I decided to do a ______ stain with Methylene blue after heat ______ ing the bacterium to the slide. First I used the ______ focus knob with the 4X ________ lens to find the best place on the slide to view. From there I kept increasing the magnification until I had the ______ X oil immersion lens in place. Given my 10X ______ lenses, that gave me a total magnification of ______X. The sample seems to contain many ______ bacteria, which look like clusters of grapes. I believe there was a contamination issue collecting the sample, because there are also a few ______ bacteria –rods that are lined up end to end like E.coli. I hear a strange noise in my laptop, so I am going to
______________________________ before I put away my microscope and check it out.
Microscopy Quiz (10 points)
For spring break a meteorite falls in Kent and wipes out the city Town Hall. As a result of that blast, a bacterial Andromeda strain outbreak has been detected in the area and you are in charge of an elite containment unit appointed to stop it. After collecting some samples, you bring them to the Top-Secret Biosafety Level 4 laboratory placed under the autoclave in the prep room. After analyzing the infected samples, you keep your work in your laptop just before realizing the Andromeda strain has infected it! Several words of your report are left indecipherable, but you still remember everything. Please do your best filling the blanks:
In order to observe the basic morphology of the bacteria, I decided to do a ______ stain with Methylene blue after heat ______ ing the bacterium to the slide. First I used the ______ focus knob with the 4X ________ lens to find the best place on the slide to view. From there I kept increasing the magnification until I had the ______ X oil immersion lens in place. Given my 10X ______ lenses, that gave me a total magnification of ______X. The sample seems to contain many ______ bacteria, which look like clusters of grapes. I believe there was a contamination issue collecting the sample, because there are also a few ______ bacteria –rods that are lined up end to end like E.coli. I hear a strange noise in my laptop, so I am going to
______________________________ before I put away my microscope and check it out.
Paying taxes in USA
This title sounds like "Surfing in USA" but it's worst.
It turns out last week I received a bunch of weird papers telling me about paying "federal taxes, state taxes, scholar, departmental, toilet taxes etc..." After overcoming my first angina pectoris, at first sight I went blind. There were so many numbers, and letters, and paragraphs, annexes, and acronims they filled up my poor mind....
This was just the beginning. After those first blasts, they came up with jargon such "taxes witholding, out-of-state taxes, withholding allowances, tax rate, exempt. code, TIN, NQI's/ flow-through..Ole! blablabla.
Holy crab! I tought...
I realized this is one of those sheets with the ethereal ability to trigger you a sweet headache after 10 seconds reading. The truth is we know what's going on. Our brain knows. And he rejects it. He doesn't want to go troughout all this buro-shit awaiting for....But well, that´s life afterall.
So today I went to the bursars office and finally I saw the light. Actually, I discovered there's nothing as easy as paying taxes in Ohio. So, to be a good alien resident you need:
the formular 1040 NREZ .If you survive it, then comes the W-2, which in turns leads you toward the1042-S, who finally unlocks the 8843. But this are just formular subsets. So the 1040NREZ (called EZ because it is the "Easy" one) includes the W-2,the 1042-S and the 8843. Then after successfully completing the 1040NREZ, you need to fill in another one, the IT1040EZ for the State Taxes.
Once you struggled for your life and you managed to survive, then you are ready for the next little one: the Kent City Taxes. A piece of cake. For this one, you just need to walk 30' to the Town Hall and "alledgedly" show the W-2 and "maybe" and ID. As you see the requirements for this last one are highly hypothetical, because I didn't go yet. ;)
It turns out last week I received a bunch of weird papers telling me about paying "federal taxes, state taxes, scholar, departmental, toilet taxes etc..." After overcoming my first angina pectoris, at first sight I went blind. There were so many numbers, and letters, and paragraphs, annexes, and acronims they filled up my poor mind....
This was just the beginning. After those first blasts, they came up with jargon such "taxes witholding, out-of-state taxes, withholding allowances, tax rate, exempt. code, TIN, NQI's/ flow-through..Ole! blablabla.
Holy crab! I tought...
I realized this is one of those sheets with the ethereal ability to trigger you a sweet headache after 10 seconds reading. The truth is we know what's going on. Our brain knows. And he rejects it. He doesn't want to go troughout all this buro-shit awaiting for....But well, that´s life afterall.
So today I went to the bursars office and finally I saw the light. Actually, I discovered there's nothing as easy as paying taxes in Ohio. So, to be a good alien resident you need:
the formular 1040 NREZ .If you survive it, then comes the W-2, which in turns leads you toward the1042-S, who finally unlocks the 8843. But this are just formular subsets. So the 1040NREZ (called EZ because it is the "Easy" one) includes the W-2,the 1042-S and the 8843. Then after successfully completing the 1040NREZ, you need to fill in another one, the IT1040EZ for the State Taxes.
Once you struggled for your life and you managed to survive, then you are ready for the next little one: the Kent City Taxes. A piece of cake. For this one, you just need to walk 30' to the Town Hall and "alledgedly" show the W-2 and "maybe" and ID. As you see the requirements for this last one are highly hypothetical, because I didn't go yet. ;)
Wild Party at University Inn Appartments
This weekend we went to a party at Eduardo’s house. Eduardo is from Mexico, and when we arrived with Marie (1 hour later, of course), his appartment was already crowded. And everybody already drunk. Eduardo presented his girlfriend, and I found the usual fiesteros.There was also Phillipe, that american teacher from Saterfield that we met long ago in the Torsten party before Christmas…Torsten, that german guy who I will never see again because he just went back to Germany before christmas. That’s life. I have his face still so clear in my memory…. Oh well, he is like being dead now.
Ok, and then, Eduardo came and said to me: “I have to go outside, my girlfriend is upsed”.
After a while, he returned and while steering his wine cup: "me va de madre!!!! So then, finally we left the party and we were lucky. Just 5 minutes after leaving, the cops rushed in. We saw one of them entering with the car at the same time we were leaving. “Maybe they are patroling” we said. Maybe. But maybe not. "This cops are patrolling suuuuure, I said. No danger" Well….It turned out the cops were not friendly and cancelled the party.
And we all have to thank the mother** who called the cops and gave us such a nice epilogue. Thanks coward bastard! ;)
Marie, the blue star girl at the party ;)
Ok, and then, Eduardo came and said to me: “I have to go outside, my girlfriend is upsed”.
After a while, he returned and while steering his wine cup: "me va de madre!!!! So then, finally we left the party and we were lucky. Just 5 minutes after leaving, the cops rushed in. We saw one of them entering with the car at the same time we were leaving. “Maybe they are patroling” we said. Maybe. But maybe not. "This cops are patrolling suuuuure, I said. No danger" Well….It turned out the cops were not friendly and cancelled the party.
And we all have to thank the mother** who called the cops and gave us such a nice epilogue. Thanks coward bastard! ;)
Marie, the blue star girl at the party ;)
Exams in USA
My french roomate Marie studying... (the day after)
The Library at Kent State University
This is my friend Joe. Yes, there is nothing like a computer for replacing a pillow and a good bed.
Zzzz...Zzzzz
Zzzz...Zzzzz
Getting a Car Licence in Ohio...and surviving it
Last Friday I went to take my driving test. It was in Garfield Heights, about 30miles Northwest from Kent. The place: 14000 Broadway street aka: in the middle of nowhere. Well, I got a map route with mapquest and every single step was detailed. Getting lost was alledgedly impossible. We went with my girlfriend Chenmei´s car and everything was under control, when suddenly we saw the Exit 23 direction Broadway street. I instantly thought “ I love when everything goes like planned”. Chenmei signaled the exit and althought in my map that exit was still 8 miles ahead, how many Broadways streets can exist in the zone? It was then clear than the map was wrong and it provided with me with the claryfing fact: “Look, these fucking japanese computers and their virtual maps”.
Then we turned left as indicated in our map and we entered Broadway street. As expected. Now, finding the street’s number was just a matter of time. A piece of cake. Easy. The test was appointed at 4 o’clock. We were on time.
Well, because this street was infested with fast food restaurants and gas stations, looking at the number became a daunting task. But finally, we saw the first number: 2300. 2300? No. I just looked wrong. It is clear we are searching for a five digits number -14000-, I missed a zero. Next one: 2350. Ok. Then, it´s simple, our target it´s in the other direction –but it was kinda weird, because the map pointed out our destination within 100 meters and we just run about 2 miles. Doesn’t matter. The maps are always rong, everybody knows this. We went back.
After 10 minutes of backtraffiking, we found a critical point where numbers just jumped from 24000 to 2300.
“Ok, let’s go to that gas station and I will ask someone”. This were my word for saying: “I have no f** idea where we are”. I’m still little shy with my English, so I babbled a little to ask someone, but finally I got the courage: “sorre, wai re sarching fo Brodwa strat”. Because of his first two questions on me, that is the way he should have heard my question. After several rehearsals, the solution shined on me: yes, ok, it’s this—the firsts rays of light were coming-- but… wait a moment, where? Where I should go? That way? To take that bridge? No? That other? If I can see the green truck that now goes into it? Ah, yes, I see, so the problem is that Garfield Heights is not here? That we are still faaaar away from the real Broadway street? But… what’s going on here? Two streets with the same name near a highway exit, but 8 miles away?? I just wonder, what the f**! Caraj**! I keep this lasts expressions of Spanish emotion for my thoughts, while after being debrieded several times in a monkey style to avoid misinterpretetions I assured the guy I had understand the way.
10 minutes later we reach the test center. It was in the middle of a demilitarized-like zone. Now, phase 2 began: the test registration. Just enter, I wento into a shock. A thirty-four-people line was awaiting for me. Oh my G***! Now we were NOT on time, and I didn´t thought about the queing issue. But fortunately, there were seven different lines, all crawed, minus one. That for driving test takers. I couldn’t believe how lucky we were.
I provided my ID and the legendary red and blue papers and the officer just said something like: “Go out there and wait”. Where? Just out there?Outside you mean? The examiner will come later or what?. This were just private to-hard-to-answer-lost-for-ever thoughts. So, in a seemingly losty way, I went outside. Ok, so I guessed, maybe I have to place the car in front of that orange cones and wait?
After two minutes an officer came from nowhere. Wow! The American system is really impressive, I thought. Efficiency to the limit. But then, he just passed by. Mmm, may I call him? But at the time I did, he just opened a door in the test center building and disappeared. Mmm, I thought, was that normal? Ok, I await 5 minutes more. An eternity. Then the same officer came again. This time for real. He stoped in my left side and indicated to me to low the window. But then, because I didn´t master the car yet, I pushed the wrong button, an the left rear window lowered. Oh sh**! Suddenly, I pushed another one, trying to minimize my lack of craftiness, but this time the rear right window lowered. “Oh, oh” and I did the same opeartion with my right window, till the last button was the right one. I followed word y word the Murphy’s law: the key that opens always comes the last. By that time, the officer looked at me like Balrog from the Lord of the Rings movie.
“So” he said “May I have to expect you to know how to drive a car if you couldn’t open that window?” --Oops! This was not a good start. But the worst was still to come. He sat on the copilot’s seat and inmediately fastened two safetly belts. I didn’t noticed the existence of the second belt, so he added: “You don’t fast your safety belt??” “You know, --he added-- maybe you don’t like to follow the rules, but HERE, he paused, HERE we follow the law!”. Ouch! This sounded like my test’s death sentence.
After checking my skills with the intermittent lights, he sat again on my right side and ordered “ok, now drive forward and turn right”. I tried to start the car but nothing happened. Then, I collapsed. After few attempts he said “You cannot even start the car????” No! No! I started to shout desperately. At that point everything I thought I mastered was falling apart. I couldn’t see the police officer eyes, but I felt his penetrating look on me and thinking “What we have here? This guy is a real dumb, yeah!”
He was going to fail me for sure: “The test is over due to fail to start the car” he said. Come on, com onn!!! I thought, this is impossible, this is the stupidest way to fail a test. So I swore one and once again on him that I drove the car from the parking lot to here and there was no problem, the only "rational" explanation might be that the car suddenly broke up. “Then” he added, “ Are you a mechanic” Me? No! “So then you should call a car truck, it´s illegal to leave this car here…Call that number and do a reservation for another test driving appointment” It was like talking to an answering machine. He washed his hands –and I got a problem.
But CM solved the problem. She was the real hero! We called Triple-A. Now, deal with the customer service. All operators were full. 5 minutes waiting (packed with advertisement) and nothing. Finaly we left the cell on and wait….wondering how this could happen…”and do you know what?” I told her “When the truck will come, the funiest thing of this situations is that the car will start!”.
10 minutes. Nothing. 15. Nothing…and at least! The cell answered….Then I realized how bad still is my English. the assistance service asked me in a machine-like mood. “Do you want us to try to start the engine?” “I repeat the ID you gave us: 8934…” “Is that correct” and stuff like that.
They said they will last 1 hour maximum. It was 5.45pm. Then, my brain said: ok, just forget tonight’s scheduled party”. BUt unexpectedly, they just did it in 15 minutes. The truck came, and with him our solution. The driver was a girl, and we were allowed to drive with her till our home, but before taking the "ride", I asked in my best English “are you going to try to start it?” Ok! She said surprised. No problem. And then, easy as it gets, she took the key, she plug on it and….Brrrmmmm! Brmmm!!! Brmmmm!!!!! The car just started! I couldn’t believe it….The car started in front of us! Holy crab! CM started to laugh…I didn’t know what to do…
After, we went to PetsMarket and we made the touroperators in one Mall….the car started without problems all times. And finally, when we arrived home, I was driving and when I tried to take off the key….I redid the same mistake 2 hours before! I tried to take out the key without changing the gear to “P” position. So then the car didn’t started as before! CM take me by my neck and tried to strangle me ;). My GOodnesss!!!! So it was that! The fucking key? And the gear? But now, CM tried again and didn’t start…She take me off the car…She was frenetic…. I messed up with her car!!! Hehe. But then, the issue became more complex, because sometimes it started and sometimes not…But with a path: each time I tried, it didn’t. So it was me….Apparently. CM said she will never forget this day. Me neither….And what is more funny, is that probably this thing saved me from a “failed” in the driving test…Because the officer, truly thought it was a mechanical problem and not my fault, so he let me to come another day and retake the test without additional fee. Hi hi.
A show going on... Seconds before the revelation ;)
Then we turned left as indicated in our map and we entered Broadway street. As expected. Now, finding the street’s number was just a matter of time. A piece of cake. Easy. The test was appointed at 4 o’clock. We were on time.
Well, because this street was infested with fast food restaurants and gas stations, looking at the number became a daunting task. But finally, we saw the first number: 2300. 2300? No. I just looked wrong. It is clear we are searching for a five digits number -14000-, I missed a zero. Next one: 2350. Ok. Then, it´s simple, our target it´s in the other direction –but it was kinda weird, because the map pointed out our destination within 100 meters and we just run about 2 miles. Doesn’t matter. The maps are always rong, everybody knows this. We went back.
After 10 minutes of backtraffiking, we found a critical point where numbers just jumped from 24000 to 2300.
“Ok, let’s go to that gas station and I will ask someone”. This were my word for saying: “I have no f** idea where we are”. I’m still little shy with my English, so I babbled a little to ask someone, but finally I got the courage: “sorre, wai re sarching fo Brodwa strat”. Because of his first two questions on me, that is the way he should have heard my question. After several rehearsals, the solution shined on me: yes, ok, it’s this—the firsts rays of light were coming-- but… wait a moment, where? Where I should go? That way? To take that bridge? No? That other? If I can see the green truck that now goes into it? Ah, yes, I see, so the problem is that Garfield Heights is not here? That we are still faaaar away from the real Broadway street? But… what’s going on here? Two streets with the same name near a highway exit, but 8 miles away?? I just wonder, what the f**! Caraj**! I keep this lasts expressions of Spanish emotion for my thoughts, while after being debrieded several times in a monkey style to avoid misinterpretetions I assured the guy I had understand the way.
10 minutes later we reach the test center. It was in the middle of a demilitarized-like zone. Now, phase 2 began: the test registration. Just enter, I wento into a shock. A thirty-four-people line was awaiting for me. Oh my G***! Now we were NOT on time, and I didn´t thought about the queing issue. But fortunately, there were seven different lines, all crawed, minus one. That for driving test takers. I couldn’t believe how lucky we were.
I provided my ID and the legendary red and blue papers and the officer just said something like: “Go out there and wait”. Where? Just out there?Outside you mean? The examiner will come later or what?. This were just private to-hard-to-answer-lost-for-ever thoughts. So, in a seemingly losty way, I went outside. Ok, so I guessed, maybe I have to place the car in front of that orange cones and wait?
After two minutes an officer came from nowhere. Wow! The American system is really impressive, I thought. Efficiency to the limit. But then, he just passed by. Mmm, may I call him? But at the time I did, he just opened a door in the test center building and disappeared. Mmm, I thought, was that normal? Ok, I await 5 minutes more. An eternity. Then the same officer came again. This time for real. He stoped in my left side and indicated to me to low the window. But then, because I didn´t master the car yet, I pushed the wrong button, an the left rear window lowered. Oh sh**! Suddenly, I pushed another one, trying to minimize my lack of craftiness, but this time the rear right window lowered. “Oh, oh” and I did the same opeartion with my right window, till the last button was the right one. I followed word y word the Murphy’s law: the key that opens always comes the last. By that time, the officer looked at me like Balrog from the Lord of the Rings movie.
“So” he said “May I have to expect you to know how to drive a car if you couldn’t open that window?” --Oops! This was not a good start. But the worst was still to come. He sat on the copilot’s seat and inmediately fastened two safetly belts. I didn’t noticed the existence of the second belt, so he added: “You don’t fast your safety belt??” “You know, --he added-- maybe you don’t like to follow the rules, but HERE, he paused, HERE we follow the law!”. Ouch! This sounded like my test’s death sentence.
After checking my skills with the intermittent lights, he sat again on my right side and ordered “ok, now drive forward and turn right”. I tried to start the car but nothing happened. Then, I collapsed. After few attempts he said “You cannot even start the car????” No! No! I started to shout desperately. At that point everything I thought I mastered was falling apart. I couldn’t see the police officer eyes, but I felt his penetrating look on me and thinking “What we have here? This guy is a real dumb, yeah!”
He was going to fail me for sure: “The test is over due to fail to start the car” he said. Come on, com onn!!! I thought, this is impossible, this is the stupidest way to fail a test. So I swore one and once again on him that I drove the car from the parking lot to here and there was no problem, the only "rational" explanation might be that the car suddenly broke up. “Then” he added, “ Are you a mechanic” Me? No! “So then you should call a car truck, it´s illegal to leave this car here…Call that number and do a reservation for another test driving appointment” It was like talking to an answering machine. He washed his hands –and I got a problem.
But CM solved the problem. She was the real hero! We called Triple-A. Now, deal with the customer service. All operators were full. 5 minutes waiting (packed with advertisement) and nothing. Finaly we left the cell on and wait….wondering how this could happen…”and do you know what?” I told her “When the truck will come, the funiest thing of this situations is that the car will start!”.
10 minutes. Nothing. 15. Nothing…and at least! The cell answered….Then I realized how bad still is my English. the assistance service asked me in a machine-like mood. “Do you want us to try to start the engine?” “I repeat the ID you gave us: 8934…” “Is that correct” and stuff like that.
They said they will last 1 hour maximum. It was 5.45pm. Then, my brain said: ok, just forget tonight’s scheduled party”. BUt unexpectedly, they just did it in 15 minutes. The truck came, and with him our solution. The driver was a girl, and we were allowed to drive with her till our home, but before taking the "ride", I asked in my best English “are you going to try to start it?” Ok! She said surprised. No problem. And then, easy as it gets, she took the key, she plug on it and….Brrrmmmm! Brmmm!!! Brmmmm!!!!! The car just started! I couldn’t believe it….The car started in front of us! Holy crab! CM started to laugh…I didn’t know what to do…
After, we went to PetsMarket and we made the touroperators in one Mall….the car started without problems all times. And finally, when we arrived home, I was driving and when I tried to take off the key….I redid the same mistake 2 hours before! I tried to take out the key without changing the gear to “P” position. So then the car didn’t started as before! CM take me by my neck and tried to strangle me ;). My GOodnesss!!!! So it was that! The fucking key? And the gear? But now, CM tried again and didn’t start…She take me off the car…She was frenetic…. I messed up with her car!!! Hehe. But then, the issue became more complex, because sometimes it started and sometimes not…But with a path: each time I tried, it didn’t. So it was me….Apparently. CM said she will never forget this day. Me neither….And what is more funny, is that probably this thing saved me from a “failed” in the driving test…Because the officer, truly thought it was a mechanical problem and not my fault, so he let me to come another day and retake the test without additional fee. Hi hi.
A show going on... Seconds before the revelation ;)
Now we start!
But this is not the real deal. The real deal is that people give a damm where I live. Tell me...How many of you really cares where is Kent located or Ohio or the fat pig that lives in the stable around the corner....
What you are interested is in adventures. Really? Infidelities, roomate fights....Experiences! And as the weirdest they are, the better! So lets start!!!
What you are interested is in adventures. Really? Infidelities, roomate fights....Experiences! And as the weirdest they are, the better! So lets start!!!
Day zero
Hi! We start in a remote city named Kent. Don't bother to search for it, because it is exactly placed under the letter H of Ohio in the map. Among other advantages, here, we don't have freezer problems...our house is inside the freezer!
Look at all that beautiness
Look at all that beautiness