Amazing Discoveries. Vol I
Last Friday I did a wonferful cultural discovery. Looks like Alliance, that town where I went in searching of a car –a gorgeous Chrysler Concorde LE- last February, has a real reputation among Ohioans. The first time I heard that name for a city, I thought we were talking about a lost planet in some Star Wars movie or a kind of remote base in Deep Space 9, but don’t. It does exist indeed. And it turns out Alliance is better known as “the armpit of Ohio”. This is, el sobaco de Ohio for my spaniard comrades ;) Why? Because of its high criminal rate among its fellow residents…So, there he was, Siol, in mid February, looking for a “bargain” car around the town. Now I understand where that blood I noticed was coming from, or those shouts from the rear window of the warehouse. But besides this little details, Alliance fulfitted the category of “rotting industrialized dumped suburb”. But well, that’s kinda common around this region.
Hamster Adventure
Hi. Chenmei has a hamster. And it is very cute. So cute I wanted to free it and make it play. But it turns out it she is a female. We know all females take advantage whenever they can (now I’m being a male chauviniste, hehehe)…so we experienced a wonderfull adventure in Chenmei’s appartment. It is a small appartment, but we didn´t know what it was behind the oven…
So there I come, I take the little furry ball out of her prison. Oh, so nice…I catch her by the neck, she cannot defend. She cries at me :“grrrr” “ggrrrr” and she shows her theets. Now freedom rocks! And the little hamster begins to run and run. Wonderful. How can mother Nature do this funny creatures? I play with it. Ohhh so sü. She tries to escape going behind the TV’s furniture. –No way -I tell him- you cannot scape..we have you under control, we are the rulers here. Chenmei is anxious, so I decide to catch it and return her to the cage, but then, I don’t know how, she manages to slip my fingers and
finishes squeazing below the oven. Oh, oh. But she is cornered. Evasion is impossible. Then, like always happens in this situations we realized that behind the oven there is an unexpected long hollow hallway. Catching the hamster turns to be out of our hand's range...Holy shit!!!!
-What is this sound? We ask ourselfes.
The small devil has began to bite some woods inside the tunnel like a crazy beast (thanks god, there was no cables, u cannot imagine how hamsters like to
eat cables. Specially the expensive ones, like Internet-like). So now how we hunt him down? Chenmei is a little more anxious. But no problem, here come the scientific rationale.
I start using my belt to attract it to the end of the hallway, but too
big, doesn’t fit in the gate. Ok, bring me the broom –I ask Chenmei. No way, the f*** montser stays at the very end, out of our range. Shit! Now what? This fucking rat will not beat me! I shout to myself. Maybe with food? Yes, she cannot scape from this old trick. Show her food and will be ours. But it looks like she inherited some fucking genes from her ancestors, and she reacts like she is being exposed with this trick previously.
We start making some sounds to scary him...Cling-clong!! Cling-clong!! No use. And then Ming-zu, Chenme's roomate came out from her cave: grooOOAAAoahhh!! -What the hell are u doing? She shout at the hamster hunters...
When she realized we had a hamster out of control she chose to keep silence and take refuge in her room again. Was the hamster scared by our sounds in the hallways’s walls? NoooOOOo. She was absolutely passive, and continud to byte the woods comme un pazzo.
But finally Chenmei’s came up with the ultimate weapon: chemical warfare: why not to use the keyboard-cleaning spray to asphyxiate her? (It was Chenmei's idea, yes,
girls always the best). We start filling the tunnel with it, but u know...she was not repelled, but attracted. What the sh***!!! She approximates a couple of times to my hand’s range, but I hesitated and she manages to evade my attack. Motherfuckeeeer!!!! Ay cuando lo pille! Ay cuando lo pille!!!!
Eventually, she came to me another time and this time I was fully equipped. First, I blocked the entrance (using the dust-pale, and hitting the ground so strong...mmmm... I broke it). Next, I caught the f** hamster wearing a washing glove to avoid bitting, and then automatically I throw it backwards. She flew and hit the wall screaming “hiiiiii” and “hiiiiii-hiiii” and “ploffff!!!” Chenmei’s thought she died, but this little beasts are made of plastic so she survived without problems. The fucking mammal took us 40 minutes to catch it.
We got uuu!!!!
So there I come, I take the little furry ball out of her prison. Oh, so nice…I catch her by the neck, she cannot defend. She cries at me :“grrrr” “ggrrrr” and she shows her theets. Now freedom rocks! And the little hamster begins to run and run. Wonderful. How can mother Nature do this funny creatures? I play with it. Ohhh so sü. She tries to escape going behind the TV’s furniture. –No way -I tell him- you cannot scape..we have you under control, we are the rulers here. Chenmei is anxious, so I decide to catch it and return her to the cage, but then, I don’t know how, she manages to slip my fingers and
finishes squeazing below the oven. Oh, oh. But she is cornered. Evasion is impossible. Then, like always happens in this situations we realized that behind the oven there is an unexpected long hollow hallway. Catching the hamster turns to be out of our hand's range...Holy shit!!!!
-What is this sound? We ask ourselfes.
The small devil has began to bite some woods inside the tunnel like a crazy beast (thanks god, there was no cables, u cannot imagine how hamsters like to
eat cables. Specially the expensive ones, like Internet-like). So now how we hunt him down? Chenmei is a little more anxious. But no problem, here come the scientific rationale.
I start using my belt to attract it to the end of the hallway, but too
big, doesn’t fit in the gate. Ok, bring me the broom –I ask Chenmei. No way, the f*** montser stays at the very end, out of our range. Shit! Now what? This fucking rat will not beat me! I shout to myself. Maybe with food? Yes, she cannot scape from this old trick. Show her food and will be ours. But it looks like she inherited some fucking genes from her ancestors, and she reacts like she is being exposed with this trick previously.
We start making some sounds to scary him...Cling-clong!! Cling-clong!! No use. And then Ming-zu, Chenme's roomate came out from her cave: grooOOAAAoahhh!! -What the hell are u doing? She shout at the hamster hunters...
When she realized we had a hamster out of control she chose to keep silence and take refuge in her room again. Was the hamster scared by our sounds in the hallways’s walls? NoooOOOo. She was absolutely passive, and continud to byte the woods comme un pazzo.
But finally Chenmei’s came up with the ultimate weapon: chemical warfare: why not to use the keyboard-cleaning spray to asphyxiate her? (It was Chenmei's idea, yes,
girls always the best). We start filling the tunnel with it, but u know...she was not repelled, but attracted. What the sh***!!! She approximates a couple of times to my hand’s range, but I hesitated and she manages to evade my attack. Motherfuckeeeer!!!! Ay cuando lo pille! Ay cuando lo pille!!!!
Eventually, she came to me another time and this time I was fully equipped. First, I blocked the entrance (using the dust-pale, and hitting the ground so strong...mmmm... I broke it). Next, I caught the f** hamster wearing a washing glove to avoid bitting, and then automatically I throw it backwards. She flew and hit the wall screaming “hiiiiii” and “hiiiiii-hiiii” and “ploffff!!!” Chenmei’s thought she died, but this little beasts are made of plastic so she survived without problems. The fucking mammal took us 40 minutes to catch it.
We got uuu!!!!
The hamburger
Hey! Look what my French roomate eats....It looks pretty huh?? hehehe
nyam naym
And take a look on some questions that my beloved students had:
If a biological agent JUST contains the right information to produce harmfull products, we are talking about...
a) the noisy neighbour next your house
b) a bacteria
c) a virus
d) a worm
Imagine we have a house and two plumbers are working on it. If we compare the indoor plumber to an enzyme, then the oudoor plumbing could be:
a) an exoenzyme
b) the main door of the house
c) the ladder to get to the roof
d) I'm nervous and I don't find the answer...
nyam naym
And take a look on some questions that my beloved students had:
If a biological agent JUST contains the right information to produce harmfull products, we are talking about...
a) the noisy neighbour next your house
b) a bacteria
c) a virus
d) a worm
Imagine we have a house and two plumbers are working on it. If we compare the indoor plumber to an enzyme, then the oudoor plumbing could be:
a) an exoenzyme
b) the main door of the house
c) the ladder to get to the roof
d) I'm nervous and I don't find the answer...